This is an extended comment, please don't judge me too harshly.
Mercer's theorem characterizes the positive semidefinite (PSD) kernel which is of interest to OP. Mercer provides two conditions for a valid kernel:
- The function is symmetric: $f(x,y)=f(y,x)$.
- The resulting kernel matrix $K_{n\times n}$ is PSD for all valid inputs, which implies that its eigenvalues are all nonnegative. (Kernels may be restricted to only consider specific intervals or sets, so it's feasible to define a kernel that is PSD for just some input values.)
Let's approach the problem by cases.
Note that $\theta=0$ results in a matrix of 1s. It has rank 1, and has the eigenvalue 1 once and the remaining $n-1$ of its eigenvalues are 0. Hence, it is PSD.
For $\theta>0$, the farther apart two points are, the smaller the similarity between them. Unless two points are identical, the off-diagonal elements of $K$ are less than 1, and the diagonal elements are 1.
We can use the same reasoning to show that for $\theta<0$, $K$ is not diagonally dominant; that is, non-idential elements will have larger entries on the off-diagonal than the diagonal (because $f(x,y;\theta<0)$ is convex with a minimum at 1). I think that we could get clever with the Girshgorin circle theorem to show that in this case, the matrix is indefinite, but I've tried and am stuck. I'll keep thinking about it.