I think there is no set standard for any of these characteristics of a KDE, For example, the implementation in R gives a choice among seversl shapes of 'kernels' (including 'gaussian' and one of your own). Also, a choice of widths. KDEs in R enclose (almost exactly) unit area.
The R function is density
.
I have found the default configuration to be about right for many applications. The goal is to estimate the population density from the data. Not surprisingly, it helps to have a large sample size.
If you're estimating the mode of a distribution, the maximum of a KDE is usually better than an attempt to find the mode of a histogram.
References: Perhaps read Wikipedia. Also see Q&A's in the right margin of this page under 'Related/'. Moreover, I have found publications of Bernard Silverman to be especially clear and useful, explaining the theory.
Below are examples using the default KDE in R. In each panel of the figure, the population density of $\mathsf{Gamma}(5, 1/5)$
is plotted as a thin black line, the KDE as a thick red line. (Population mode is 20.)
set.seed(712)
par(mfrow=c(3,1))
x = rgamma(50, 5, 1/5)
hist(x, prob=T, col="skyblue2", main="n=50")
rug(x)
curve(dgamma(x, 5, 1/5), add=T)
lines(density(x), lwd=2, col="red")
x = rgamma(500, 5, 1/5)
hist(x, prob=T, col="skyblue2", main="n=500")
rug(x)
curve(dgamma(x, 5, 1/5), add=T)
lines(density(x), lwd=2, col="red")
x = rgamma(5000, 5, 1/5)
hist(x, prob=T, col="skyblue2", main="n=5000")
curve(dgamma(x, 5, 1/5), add=T)
lines(density(x), lwd=2, col="red")
par(mfrow=c(1,1))