I propose that substantial insight into this question is afforded by viewing counts as sums of simple (happened vs. did not happen) events. That suffices to create a relationship between variance and expectation which in common situations amounts to a direct proportion.
Most counts are obtained in a context where numerous events could or could not have happened; the counts sum the events that did happen. By definition, such an event $i$ has a Bernoulli distribution: it had a chance of $p_i$ of occurring and, therefore, a chance of $1-p_i$ of not occurring. Their counts, therefore, are sums of Bernoulli variables.
The expectation of a sum is always the sum of the expectations. Thus, the expectation of $n$ Bernoulli variables with probabilities $p_i, i=1, 2,\ldots, n$ is the sum
$$p = \sum_{i=1}^n p_i.$$
When those variables are independent (and being "nearly" independent would be close enough), the variance of their sum is the sum of their variances. Since the variance of a Bernoulli$(p_i)$ variable is $p_i(1-p_i)$ (which is readily established from first principles), the variance of the sum is approximately
$$v = \sum_{i=1}^n p_i(1-p_i).$$
Although this is too complicated to allow any really general statements, we can make some useful deductions for common situations.
(Binomial sampling). When all the $p_i$ are equal, $p = np_1$ and $v = np_1(1-p_1)$. This exhibits $v$ as directly proportional to the expected count since
$$v = p(1-p_1).$$
(Poisson distribution). When $n$ is large and all the $p_i$ are so small that every $np_i$ is also small (say, less than $1$), then the $1-p_i$ terms in the general expression of $v$ are so close to $1$ as to be negligible, even when accumulated in the summations. Accordingly, to a good approximation,
$$v \approx \sum_{i=1}^n n p_i = p.$$
Again the variance is proportional to the expected count, but with a universal constant of proportionality equal to $1$.