When I first learned about Generalized Linear Models I thought that the assumption that the dependent variable follows some distribution from the exponential family was made to simplify calculations. However, I now read about Vector GLMs (VGLMs). VGLMs do not require the assumption that the dependent variable follows some distribution from the exponential family but they allow for a much broader set of distributions.
So my question is: WHY do we actually need the distribution assumption in GLMs?
My thoughts so far: GLMs model the mean of the assumed exponential family and thus has only one predictor (this predictor may be vector-valued in case of a vector-valued distribution mean). The variance of the distribution depends on the mean by some function and the first two moments specify the distribution uniquely within the set of all distributions from the exponential family. Thus, it is enough to specify the link function to uniquely specify the distribution. VGLMs on the other hand allow more than one predictor, one predictor for each parameter. It is therefore possible to specify the distribution by first assuming the distribution of the dependent variable and then estimate the parameters. Consider for instance the negative binomial distribution $NB(r,\mu)$. The two parameters are and $r$ (number of trials) and the mean $\mu$ (note that in this formulation $p=\frac{\mu}{\mu+r}$). Can someone verify these thoughts or give another explanation?