Variance is not normally distributed, because variance is the average of the squared deviations of each datum from the mean of the distribution. If all data points in your dataset are identical, then the deviations would each be zero, and so would the squared deviations and their average. Thus, $0$ is the lowest variance possible. On the other hand, the normal distribution ranges from $-\infty$ to $\infty$. Therefore, variance cannot be normally distributed.
The chi-squared distribution is related to $z$-scores. A $z$-score is a quantile of the standard normal distribution. That is, it is the value of a data point from a normal distribution with mean $0$ and variance $1$ (e.g., if the distribution was standardized first). The distribution of $z$-scores that have been squared is $\chi^2_\text{df=1}$. To understand this connection more fully, let's examine the formula for the variance:
$$
s^2 = \frac{\sum_{i=1}^N(x_i-\bar x)^2}{N-1}
$$
If you were to multiply both sides by $(N-1)$ (as in the numerator of the middle of your top set of inequalities), then you simply have a sum of squares. The sum of squared deviations is distributed as chi-squared. In other words, the squaring already exists in $s^2(N-1)$, and so you need a distribution that accounts for that. (To answer one of your specific questions at this point, it is not the number of standard deviations of something from your mean.)
Now if you want a two-sided $1-\alpha$ confidence interval for anything (including this as a special case), you find the quantiles that correspond to the $\alpha/2$ percentile and the $1-\alpha/2$ percentile. In this case, you do that for the appropriate chi-squared distribution, which is chi-squared (since these are sums of squared deviations as noted above) with $\text{df} = N-1$. This value is then scaled as described in your second set of inequalities. (As to how we got from the first set to the second set, it is just algebra.)