I'll start with the second question:
It's only possible to calculate the true variance if you have a set of every possible randomly-drawn data set $D$ (or an equivalent PDF) and every single $x$ input possible (or an equivalent PDF). This is the result of the mathematical definition of the variance of a learning model/algorithm: $E_x[E_D[g^d(x)-\bar{g}(x)]]$, where $d\in D$. (slide source)
This will obviously never happen. The only time when you can exactly calculate the variance is when you create your own data. Even then, both $D$ and $x$ will likely be infinite (if you have any continuous predictors or outputs), so you'll just be approximating the variance by drawing large samples from $D$ and $x$.
First question:
If you are using 10-fold CV, you should be able to treat the 10 different sets as a sample of $D$ and the 10 different testing sets as a sample of $x$. The only problem is that the training sets wouldn't be independent (refer to the comments link by Matthew Drury). Also I'm not sure though if $k=10$ is the best number for estimating the variance of a model.
Additional Source:
In case anyone wants to learn more about this, I'd highly recommend this lecture. I found the derivation in the first 40-50 minutes to be helpful.