My answer largely relates to the second part but I may come back with a few words on the first part later (once the notation in the question is clarified)
A common rule of thumb when approximating the hypergeometric by the binomial (which is at heart what we're talking about) is that the sample should be smaller than 10% of the population (another common one says the sample fraction should be no more than 5%).
We can work out the degree of approximation that involves for large samples (large enough for a normal approximation to hold in both cases) by comparing standard deviations (we can then get implied ratios of densities or upper tail areas or differences in cdfs or whatever is desired at some given value of the argument from that).
The ratio of the standard deviations is directly incorporated into the finite population correction factor:
$\text{FPC} =\sqrt{\frac{N-n}{N-1}}$, which in your notation is $\sqrt{\frac{n-r}{n-1}}=\sqrt{1-\frac{r-1}{n-1}}\approx \sqrt{1-\frac{r}{n}}=\sqrt{1-f}$ when $n\gg r\gg 1$, where $f$ is the sampling fraction, $r/n$. When $r$ is small compared to $n$ this is approximately $1-\frac{f}{2}$, so requiring $f$ be no more than 10% is the same as tolerating up to a 5% error in the standard deviation; if you want no more than a 1% error in the standard deviation, this suggests that $r$ should be no more than 2% of $n$, and so forth.
Quite a few posts on site discuss the finite population correction.