How is $p$-value actually defined?
Definition $1.$ (cf. $\rm[I]$) A $p$-value is a test statistic $p:\mathcal X\to [0,1]$ such that $$\mathbb P_\theta (p(\mathbf X) \leq \alpha)\leq\alpha,~~\forall\theta\in\Omega_\mathcal H, ~\forall\alpha\in(0,1).\tag{1.a}\label 1$$
Consider a series of nested tests $\langle \varphi_\alpha\rangle$ in the sense that $\varphi_\alpha(x) \leq\varphi_{\alpha^\prime}(x) $ for $\alpha<\alpha^\prime.$
Define $$\hat p:=\inf\{\alpha:\varphi_\alpha=1\}.\tag{1.b}\label b$$
Observation $1.1.$ $\hat p$ is a valid $p$-value.
Formally, if for a set of nested test functions $$\sup_{\theta\in\Omega_\mathcal H}\mathbb P_\theta(\varphi_\alpha(\mathbf X) \leq \alpha) \leq \alpha ~~\forall\alpha\in(0, 1), \tag 2\label 2$$
then for all $u\in(0,1),$ $$\mathbb P_\theta\left(\hat p\leq u\right) \leq u. \tag 3\label 3$$
$\eqref 3$ is easy to see (cf. $\rm [II]$ ) for $\left\{\hat p\leq u\right\}$ means $\{\varphi_v(\mathbf X) =1\}$ for all $u<v.$ Then, let $v\to u. $
$\blacksquare$
Now consider a test statistic $W(\mathbf X) $ whose large values indicate the rejection of $\mathcal H. $
Observation $1.2.$ (cf.$\rm [I]$) Define
$$p(\mathbf x) := \sup_{\theta\in\Omega_\mathcal H} \mathbb P_\theta(W(\mathbf X) \geq W(\mathbf x)).\tag{1.c}\label c$$ $p(\mathbf x) $ is also a valid $p$-value.
Notice that
\begin{align}p_\theta(\mathbf x) &= \mathbb P_\theta (W(\mathbf X) \geq W(\mathbf x))\\&= \mathrm F_\theta(-W(\mathbf x)),\tag 4\end{align}
which implies $p_\theta(\mathbf x) $ is stochastically greater than or equal to $\mathcal U(0, 1).$ Then as $p(\mathbf x) \geq p_\theta(\mathbf x), $ $\eqref 1$ follows.
$\blacksquare$
When one talks about $p$-value, they are basically meaning $\eqref 1$ or $\eqref c$ which as outlined above are genuine $p$-values.
The phrase as extreme as is essential to define $p$-value. Gloss over the definition and its equivalence as outlined above.
However, what does it imply intuitively? What does lower $p$-value mean? Why is the phrase necessary?
Over the years, there have been many CV posts dealing with the specifics. Please have a look at some of those:
$\bullet$ Why is smaller the p-value, larger is the significance?
$\bullet$ Does p-value ever depend on the alternative? (courtesy Richard Hardy)
$\bullet$ What is the meaning of p values and t values in statistical tests?
and links therein.
References:
$\rm [I]$ Statistical Inference, George Casella, Roger L. Berger, Wadsworth, $2002, $ sec. $8.3, $ pp. $397-398.$
$\rm [II]$ Testing Statistical Hypotheses, E. L. Lehmann, Joseph P. Romano, Springer Science$+$Business Media, $2005, $ sec. $3.3, $ pp. $63-64.$